Breaking The Limits Read online

  “Sometimes I feel like I’m always just walking away.”

  Chapter Five - Jas

  I blamed my lingering jet lag but the truth was, I was dog tired with the whole situation. Sure, I hadn’t expected to waltz right in, tell my mom the truth about her new partner, have her believe me, and kiss and make up. Nor had I expected Angie to capitulate right away.

  But there was a part of me that had made up stories in my head about how it would all pan out. I’d imagined an earnest discussion, maybe a few tears, and then everyone would see sense.

  My sense. My version of events. You know, the truth. They always say that the truth wins out, right?

  Apparently it does not.

  “You know, sometimes I really resent the fact that I have to act like an adult,” I told Andrew as we dined out that night. We’d stepped out of the hot, sultry night into a pleasantly cool restaurant with screened-off little eating booths and live music playing from a low-lit stage area.

  “My God, really? I personally couldn’t wait to grow up.”

  “Well, you were all private boarding schools and nannies and everything. Did you wear shorts and a cute little cloth cap?”

  “I did not,” he said, glowering at me. But he was grinning. “Not past the age of nine, at any rate.”

  “I could leave them all to it,” I said. “They made their beds.”

  “Walk away from your family?” he said.

  “You have.”

  “I have,” he said, and now he was looking dark with no hint of a smile. “But it won’t end here. He doesn’t care about your family, one way or the other. He’ll drop them and come after me another way.”

  “He can’t keep chasing.”

  “He will.”

  I shook my head. This was so tiresome. “Look, if he’s so serious about all this, why doesn’t he just hire a hitman then?” I knew it was melodramatic but so was the whole situation.

  “That’s too quick. He does want to destroy me, but he wants me to know about it. He wants to take everything from me, piece by piece. He wants to destroy me. I know this, Jas, because I’ve seen him do it.”

  I sighed and sat back in my chair. “You’ve seen him kill?”

  To my horror, he grasped his knife and said, “Yes. He’s destroying my mother, piece by piece and yes, he’s arranged the death of anyone that has got close to her.”

  “Jeez. You got proof of that? Go to the cops!”

  “He’s not that stupid and anyway, we know he’s got the police tied up in his pocket anyway. Why do you think they never came looking for you when he took you hostage? He’s at Masonic dinners with the chief constable.”

  “Well, okay, so supposing I accept all this. What are you going to do?” I had to ask but there was icy sweat between my shoulder blades.

  “I must destroy him first.”

  I shook my head.

  “No, Jas, listen. He wants me to sink into lonely misery and poverty. He’ll destroy you and your family. He’ll pick off everyone close to me, one by one, and he knows that I know it’s because of me. Anyone close to me will go. I’ll be forced to watch that happen. But I can’t. I should have acted years ago. My mother is half mad and half drunk, now. She has no friends. No life. I let that happen. He cannot let a rival succeed. And now, Jas, I am his rival.”

  It was like two lions trying to get control of a pack.

  Two lions. Just the same.

  “Can’t you see that you are acting exactly the same as he is?” I insisted.

  “No! No. Our intentions are different,” he hissed. “He will destroy me for power. But I will destroy him for…”

  It hung in the air. Love? Duty? The thrill of the chase?

  He slammed his knife down to the table and straightened up. He looked dark and dangerous but this time, it didn’t turn me on. His hands gripped the edge of the table, and he said, “I cannot stop until he is destroyed. He is no longer my father.”

  It was too much. I barked a humorless laugh and said, “What is this? Fucking Star Wars?”

  “Jas, don’t you dare–”

  “Dare what?” I rose to my feet and grabbed my purse from the back of the chair. Heads were turning to look our way. My head was pounding. Heat, jetlag, stress, whatever. “I’m going to clear my head.”

  In a strident voice, he commanded me to sit down, and everyone was staring open-mouthed, now.

  I felt my cheeks flush bright red. I whirled around and strode out of there, feeling his anger reach out and claw at me to bring me back to his side, and under his thumb.

  Chapter Six - Jas

  I went straight to Carlee. I called her up as soon as I left the restaurant, and jumped in a cab while I was still talking on the phone. She’d moved and now rented a tiny apartment in a fairly decent part of town. She was on her way to bed after a long shift, but she made up a bed for me on her couch, and apologized profusely before crashing out in her bedroom. I stayed up late, my phone on silent, watching and waiting for it to spring into life.

  But he didn’t call.

  The next day, Carlee emerged from the shower and set about frying up a large breakfast for the pair of us. While she cooked, I talked.

  “This sounds crazy.”

  “I know.”

  “I mean, you told me some of this before but … you really believe he’s gonna kill his own father?”

  “What else does ‘destroy’ mean?”

  “Yeah, but is he capable?”

  “I think so. He wants to.”

  She rolled her eyes at me and flipped the bacon onto a plate. “And you are dating this guy?”

  “He’s got a softer side.”

  “He some kind of hypnotist or what?”

  “No, really. You should meet him.”

  “How many waffles? Nah, I don’t think I want to meet him.”

  “Carlee!” I stuck my tongue out at her and she rolled her eyes back. I felt happy, in spite of her teasing. Or maybe my happiness was because of her teasing. We were back to being old friends again.

  We took our plates through and balanced them on our knees as we ate.

  “He’s obviously freaked you out some, though. Because you are here.”

  “I needed a bit of space.”

  “Hon, you need a few thousand miles of space. Seriously. I don’t care how sexy or rich he is, but he sounds like bad news.”

  “You know, I could just fly back to the UK, pick up my job again, and leave all of this behind.”

  I expected her to agree with me, because that was what she had been urging me to do. Instead, she said, “But you won’t, will you? Because it’s your family.”

  “So what do I do?”

  “Go see them again. Alone.”

  “No, not alone. Will you come with me?”

  “Sheesh, what happened to ball-breaker, afraid-of-nothing, hot-shot Jasmine Turner?”

  “Nothing happened to her. I just need a little back up after yesterday, that’s all.”

  “You’re different.”

  “I am not. Maybe I’ve grown up a little.”

  “No, you’re … I dunno. Not needy. That’s unfair. But when you talk about this Andrew guy, you’re all deferential to him. Submissive, I guess.”

  Submissive. The word stung me and I stood up, clutching my plate.

  “You’re done?”

  I stared down at the half-eaten breakfast. “No. Yes. Wait…” Wait, what? Submissive. So yeah, I was. But that was private.

  If people knew what our relationship was like, they’d be shocked.

  And I’d be lowered in their eyes.

  I turned toward the kitchen, and took two paces.

  Stopped.

  Looked back at Carlee, who had a puzzled expression. “You okay? Did I say something wrong?”

  “No. You didn’t. It’s okay.” No, it’s not okay. I’m not at ease with my new sexual self, am I?

  I sat back down again, heavily, and poked at my unfinished waffle to distract myself. “Okay. Yo
u know what? I’m done with walking away from things. You at work at all today?”

  “Nope, free all day.”

  “Got any wine in?”

  “It’s not yet eleven o’clock.”

  “For later. We’ll need it. Let’s talk.”

  Chapter Seven - Andrew

  I knew where she had gone. She’d run to Carlee and I had her address because Jas had scribbled it on a bit of paper and left it in the hotel room. I had finished the meal and gone back, and prowled around the hotel bar for a while, thinking.

  She didn’t come home that night and I didn’t expect her to.

  She didn’t understand that I was doing what I needed to do - for her.

  The next day, I rose early and went for a run, then I hit the gym in the hotel’s basement. I worked out hard, letting my muscles burn and the sweat run freely over my body.

  This was what it was about. You tore the muscles to encourage the body to build them again - newer, stronger. Pain for the gain. My veins stood up proud like snakes on my forearms and I thought about what I was going to do with my father.

  I’d hunt him down like the dog that he was.

  And then. And then…

  Then I’d hold him hostage, just like he’d done to Jas. And I’d beat the ever-living crap out of him, and break that old man. I would make him cry and I would make him beg.

  I would threaten his life, if that was what it took.

  But most of all, I would assert my dominance.

  Would I take his life?

  No. I wouldn’t need to, after all that.

  Once he knew his day was over, and I was in charge, he would be defeated. I only needed to assert myself over him, using the language that he understood - threats and violence.

  And I also needed to assert myself over Jas. With the blood pounding in my head, I slung the weights back in the rack and didn’t even go for a shower. I strode out of the gym, soaked in sweat, and headed right over to her friend’s place.

  * * * *

  It was just after lunch but I didn’t expect to find them both drinking white wine. The bottle on the table was mostly full; they’d only just started on it.

  “You’re coming with me,” I said, after the barest nod towards Carlee, who was still wearing her pajamas.

  They both stared at me, open-mouthed. Jas was dressed in borrowed sweat pants and a loose tee. She’d hardly brought any clothes over from England, I knew. Even dressed in such casual wear, she looked sexy as hell. I was pumped from training and my cock hardened as I looked at her. The neckline was low and I wanted to nibble along her exposed collarbone right now.

  Jas started to shake her head. “You can’t come over here, ordering me to–”

  “I can. You are mine. Aren’t you?”

  “Oh for fuck’s sake, Jas,” Carlee said, stepping in between us. “Do you want me to call the cops?”

  “No.” She raised her hand, pulling Carlee back.

  “Jas. You have a choice. You can be mine, or not. You can tell me to leave and I will go away and never bother you again. Or, you can come with me, now.”

  “That’s like emotional blackmail or something,” Carlee said.

  “No,” Jas said again. “It’s okay, Carlee. “We’ve got some stuff to work out. I have made a choice. This is how it is.”

  “The submissive thing? I don’t get it.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, and I think she was saying it to Carlee but I wasn’t sure. She stepped past her friend and took my hand.

  * * * *

  “Everything I do is for you,” I told her as I threw her to the floor in our hotel suite. She sprawled there, her curls in her face, looking up at me with a mixture of fear and lust in her eyes. The fear was edged with anticipation; I would have stabbed my own eyes out if I only saw fear there. Fear alone was not what I wanted.

  “Yes, sir,” she said, and I knew from that word “sir” she trusted me to scare her only to her own limits.

  It was a sacred trust.

  I pulled my sweat-stained singlet over my head and then knelt by her side, stroking her face. “I never knew how it felt to be so responsible for another human being,” I told her. “It’s scary.”

  Her eyes widened in surprise. She didn’t speak, but I knew she thought I would be all bravado and dominance.

  I was learning, however, that it was harder to be honest, and I had a duty to do the hardest thing.

  “I am responsible for you, as you are for me. We mesh with one another. It’s complex. You have given yourself to me and now I will take that gift, and I will fuck you.”

  She half-smiled, one corner lifting. “You stink. Sir. Maybe a shower…”

  “Afterwards,” I said, and growled as I pounced over her, pushing her flat to the floor with my own body, my bare chest against her bra-less, full breasts.

  I nuzzled into her. I could feel my own smell of exertion rising and mingling with her own. She smelled clean and fresh, with the taint of wine lingering as I sought her lips. Her hands encircled my body, clinging to me, pulling me down onto her; she wanted to be crushed. I kissed her hard and dragged myself away as she melted into my kiss. She slitted her eyes at me, disappointed, and I laughed.

  “On your feet and strip slowly for me.”

  I remained kneeling, and watched the show. It didn’t take long, and she maintained eye contact with me almost the whole time. My cock was already throbbing and as she stood there, finally naked, her curves like inviting pathways to her body, I wanted her badly.

  “Bend over,” I said.

  She giggled.

  “Bend over.”

  My tone made her smile freeze and she knew I meant what I said. She leaned forward, her breasts falling down as she reached to her shins. She worked out from time to time, but there was a pleasing softness to her body that just begged me to bury my cock into her.

  “Hold your ankles. My God, your arse looks fantastic. So round. So pink. So…” I got to my feet and began to caress her buttocks. “So spankable. You want this and you don’t want it.”

  “I want it, sir.”

  “Because you like the pain?”

  “Because I like to know that you care enough to chastise me, sir.”

  “Right answer. You get an extra one for that.” I slapped her, hard, making the flesh ripple and the redness bloom across her cheeks.

  She stumbled but quickly righted herself, and moaned out, “One. Thank you, sir.”

  “You are beautiful.” I slapped her again.

  “Two, thank you, sir.”

  “You are mine.”

  “Three. Thank you, sir.”

  I rubbed at the marks on her skin, easing the sting, letting my hand dip between her buttocks to tease my fingers into her pussy. She was wet, as I expected and hoped.

  “You’re ready for me, so soon. I’m pleased.” I thrust one finger into her and she parted her legs slightly, pushing back onto my hand.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “But do you deserve my cock?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Why not?”

  “I ran from you.”

  “Yes, you did.” I pulled my finger sharply from her, and went around to her side, curling my arm around her, so that my hand fell to her neck and gripped her. “You ran from me. You can leave me at any time, but you cannot run from me like that. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I should deny you any relief. I should insist you suck me, and pleasure me, and you should go without your release.”

  “I know, sir. Yes, sir.”

  “But …” I buried my fingers into her hair, cupping the base of her skull. “But you are so very beautiful and so very humble.”

  “Let me suck you,” she said.

  I was smelly and horrible from the gym. Just the fact that she asked - and that I knew she would oblige if I insisted - was enough.

  “No.” I moved back around to behind her, and gripped her hips. “Stay as you are.”

 
I pushed my cock between her buttocks, and used my hand to move it around her wet hole. She opened further for me and I teased her, up and down and side to side. Her legs shook with the effort of staying in that position and I didn’t want her to pass out with the blood rushing to her head, so I held myself back. I wanted to shove myself into her, but instead, I withdrew. “Stand up.”

  She staggered and I caught her, and lowered her carefully to the couch. “Spread your legs.”

  She sat and I knelt, and plunged my tongue between her legs, probing at her clitoris. She clutched my head and said, quite frantically, “Oh my God … what have I done… to deserve …?”

  “Nothing but I cannot resist you. This is not for your pleasure. This is all mine,” I told her. It wasn’t quite true. It was complicated. I wanted to hear her scream - partly from my own joy at giving her pleasure, and partly - of course - from a power thing.

  I stopped thinking about it. I licked and nibbled as she writhed and arched her back. Her musky scent filled me and my cock ached to be where my tongue was.

  She was begging me and her hips were jerking. I kissed my way up along her belly and her breasts, climbing onto the couch to straddle her. I reached down and fingered her as my mouth fastened onto her nipples and she was almost sobbing with need, her pussy clamping and pulsing around my hand.

  “Please,” she said, her voice dropping to an agonized whisper, and there was something in her breathy tone that finally broke my resolve. I pulled her down so that she lay on the couch and thrust into her. Her legs wrapped around my waist and held me against her as I built up a slow and steady rhythm. Straightforward missionary wasn’t what I had had in mind, but sometimes it was all that was needed. She was wet and warm and so ready for me, and my cock filled her so completely.

  I varied my pace, trying to hold back, but already I was swimming in the rising orgasm as my belly began to clench and my balls tightened. She was bucking beneath me and that tipped me over the edge, and I ploughed deep as I filled her with my seed.

  “Oh yes,” she was saying over and over again, and I fell against her for a moment as my cock continued to twitch. Every sense was heightened; her breath on my shoulder threatened to shatter me. I was more naked now than I ever had been.